Good to see you too!

I hear this every single day I work, and depending on my mood at the time, I find it to be humorous, insulting, ignorant, annoying or I hardly notice. Depends on the day and the work load I guess. Now granted that not every hospital works this way, but most do have a system, like a phone that is carried on your waist, or the old fashion way of just hunting you down to tell you. But at this hospital, we carry text pagers. It cuts down on the "tracking down" time, and allows us to know whether we just need to answer a phone call for us, or call so and so back at this and that number, handily on our pager. It also cuts down on the time it takes for patients to get the attention they need. Example: Pager goes off. Pager reads: Room 354 needs a bedpan. Or 365 needs pain medicine. Like I have mentioned before, we like the pages from our friends goofing off, or just making the page a little more humorous. Example: Patient in room 352 is barfing all over everything. Can you please get him something to make him stop? We're trying to eat in here!
As with any system, there are glitches. Namely our secretary, Mila, who refuses to type anything into the text box except the room number. Example: 352.
Nothing else. Usually it just means that the IV pump is beeping, but not always. Big pet peeve of mine as well as the rest of the nurses, who tend to either go imediately into the room because it could be a true emergency, or ignore it until we have taken care of a few things, because, of course, it is probably just a beeping IV.
We, as nurses, occasionally actually answer the call lights ourselves and pass on the message appropriately. But what kills me each and every time, and it does happen each and every day, a patient will call and state: "I need to see my nurse."
The next thoughts going through my head are:

Why? Have you never seen a nurse before, and since you're in the hospital, you thought it would be nice to look at yours?

What? Do you have a crush on her and you just want to admire her beauty?

Did you forget what she looked like?

Maybe we should all drop off pictures of ourselves upon introductions in the morning so that every time a patient needs to "see his nurse" they can look at the picture and everything will be all better.

If I'm in a particularly bitchy mood, I will step into the room, pronounce in my cheeriest "southern style snide": "You wanted to see your nurse? Now you have! Thanks!' and then walk out of the room.

9 times out of 1o, they just want to go to the bathroom (a job for the CCP, no RN liscensure required for that one) or a bit more water (another CCP job) or to have something moved closer or tidied up (again, you don't have to sit for boards for that little task either.)

So please, when using the call light, please just tell us what you need so the appropriate person can be paged. If it is a true emergency, I guarantee that we will be in there so incredibly much faster than if you just say you need to see the nurse.

"I need to see the nurse" Versus "I'm having chest pain." Test it out yourself next time you're in the hospital. Or actually, don't. Just stay healthy and out of our hospitals. Please!

It is good to be me, and usually it is good to be seen!

Diapers? Amatuers...

All I can think about in response to the astronaut from Houston who drove to Florida on a passion rant in diapers is....why not use a foley catheter? Diapers are so much more messy and tend to leak. And stink. Foley's are the way to go.
Also, what is up with the Houstonian women? Running over their lyin', cheatin', no-good-doin' husbands, 3 times!!! Donning wigs and packing duct tape? Please, Texas, do become your own country. You're making us look bad as a nation!
I'll stick with the fruits and nuts of Cali. God told us to "be fruitful and multiply!" It is good to be me.