Whatsitcalled

My patient keeps cracking me up because he calls me and announces that his "port-a-potty needs attention."

When I think of a port a potty, I think of those blue things that stink to high heaven that you only use when you are at carnivals and what not.
What he has in his room, though, is a bedside commode.

Also, and after thought. Is it lonely? Is it sad? How can I best lavish attention on it?