Ortho nurses. Again.

I got floated up to, drum roll please, the ORTHOPAEDIC floor. Now, quick quiz for those who have known me for a long time.

1. What is my impression of Ortho nurses?
2. How much do I love ortho?

Easy quiz, I know. Just 2 questions. Well, the answer to both questions is "Tons." The first is literal. The second, sarcasm at it's best.

No offense to all you wonderful, lovely ortho nurses out there. I am "writhing on the floor" grateful for your services. You could not pay me enough to do the things you do!!!

It is so hard to be sympathetic to the guy who broke his leg playing football and can't reach his water or change the channel, and why don't we get ESPN in the hospital, and can you fluff my pillow and can I have another one cause 6 is not enough. It's hard to be sympathetic to the crazy 82 year old lady who fell and broke her hip because she was changing the lightbulb herself and keeps climbing out of bed and yelling cause her foley hurts (i bet it does if it's attached to the bed and you are trying to get across the room!) for the 20th time but we don't have the staffing for a sitter and frankly, she isn't confused, just extremely forgetful but soo, sooo sweet. It's hard to be sympathetic to the 47 year old hippie princess who still cannot believe we will not allow her to burn her insense and has what I like to call "feng-shui disorder" which compels her to call multiple times an hour so that we can put her tray table a half inch closer, and then the blinds more closed, no not that far closed, more open, no too far, not far enough, no, just, yeah, right there, and that magazine needs to be over there under that other book, turn it just a little more, and the cup needs to be a little closer, and the sheets are not hypoallergenic and can we turn the bed so it faces more to the east to let in the energy from the sun in the morning and auuuugggghhhhh!!!!!!

I'm not good at trivial. I am good at life and death! I am good at "yes, it does suck that you are stuck here in the hospital for your son's birthday," and "no, that isn't a good sign," and "i am sorry to hear that your brother just passed away, i am glad your wife can at least go to the funeral since you are stuck here," and "things will get better, but they will probably get worse first. we will be there every step of the way with you." I'm good at holding buckets while my patients vomit into them and then clean it out and wait with them with a cool washcloth for the nausea meds to finally work. I'm good at holding their hand or just listening to them cry after they hear that they relapsed. I'm good at cheering when their counts finally bump up from zero.

But enough seriousness.

I am on the Ortho floor.

It is worse than the last time with the elephants chasing after the naked man with pendulous, ahem, balls.

Okay, so we have a little of that still. We've got the crazy lady getting naked. We've got the young cocky guy who thinks this is a day spa. We've got it all.

And the new aspect to love about the ortho floor, is,............ drum roll again please,......

That new intoxicating stench of the nurses! That's right, they smell!
I don't know if it is from all the running around they do, or their cultural practices, but they stink! And not just one of them! It's horrible!!!

Most, or rather nearly all, the nurses on transplant are all so clean! So neat! So clean! We can't wear perfumes, but we don't stink! We believe in the power of deoderant! We believe in daily (or in some cases, twice a daily) showers. We encourage our patients to bathe regularly. We have them do mouth care 5 times a day! What is wrong with ortho?!?
I know my grandfather is just rolling at this post, and I deeply apologize to any ortho nurses out there. Please, please prove me wrong! But every time I am floated to an ortho floor, I am so grossed out! It makes me appreciate my floor sooooo much more! The charge nurse even apologized to me for sending me here. The few other nurses I encountered on my way over all scrunched up their faces and uttered some form of "ew!" when I mentioned where I was floating to.
Oh, I do hope I have not offended anyone.

It is good to be me since I have gotten my floating out of the way and it is someone else's turn next time.

Heather

My dear friend Heather, whom I met in nursing school and have remained friends with over the years and miles, is turning 30 today!!! Woo-Hoo!!!! So this is my tribute to Heather! Heather recently became engaged on March 8th overlooking the ocean at Sunset Cliffs in San Diego at sunset. Her now fiance had chosen the day to propose so it would be on their 2 year anniversary.
Heather's fiance, David, is British. She is Texan. Cheers, y'all!

They looked long and hard for the perfect ring, and she found it!

The wedding is set for October 20th, 2007 down in Texas.

Heather and I have traveled litterally from one coast to the other together. The majority of my roadtrips have been with her. From the U-haul loaded with her things and her car in tow, to a sping break getaway to go skiing in New Mexico, we have had great times! It is good to be me, since I have great friends like her.

That's her ring. Pretty, eh?


Happy 30th Birthday, Heather! It's going to be a great year!

More Nice Texas Bar-B-Q

I am getting so excited about visiting Texas in just 2 more weeks. In preparation, I am taking a virtual visit, remembering all the good things. Do you just love how we drown our brisket in BBQ sauce? Texas really does know how to make BBQ sauce. My mouth waters at the thought.

And we've got our title back! Yay!!!

So that's the family in Texas.... So much fun.....So sleepy! Those cat's are just not worth the shed they've shed. Gotta love them anyways!

Last time I was out there, Mom and Dad and I went for some Texas BBQ. Every so often I just have to get my fix! Another trip, Mom and I did the bluebonnet tour. I guess I should have posted a picture with the actual bluebonnets, but the yellow was just so beautiful and so was Mom. It's good to be me!

I did my "Nurse Duty" (or should I say doody?) today. One of my patients foley catheters didn't quite manage to get clipped back closed, so I got to do the backstroke through the lake of pee until I could get housekeeping in there. It only took me 3 blankets.
My other patient got his Golytely (for those of you who know, you know) and after a "I can't hold it anymore!" jumped up and ran around the bedside commode, yes, around it, to try to get to the actual bathroom, forgetting that he was hooked up to his IV pole. So I got to do the breaststroke across that little pond of doo-doo.
I have paid my dues for the day. Probably the week too. If not the month. I still love my job though. A lot. It amuses me to no end.
And for those who were wondering, I was wearing my crocs and luckily none of it got into the holes, and yes, I have cleaned them off since then with the wipes that will take your skin off if you don't wear gloves when cleaning with them. It is good to be me with clean shoes!

I don't know why I can't get into the title bar to put a title in, so I will just have to inform you that I will call it, "Why don't they have multi-sided coins?"
My birthday is rapidly approaching, and I have narrowed the ideas down to 6. I would love to hear your votes on which you would do, or at least be the most impressed with me doing. It is the last time I will ever turn "20-something," and feel like I should do something big. Or at least memorable!
1. Go to a rodeo. (The cowboys here are pretty hot...)
2. Go to multiple gardens
3. Go whitewater rafting on Class 5 rapids. Last time was only 3's.
4. Sky dive.
5. Go to the Renaissance festival. Maybe dress up.
6. Sleep through it!
7. Go to the amusement park and ride the roller coasters.
8. Go camping
9. Have a spa day
10. Buy myself a new ring
11. Go dancing, the kind with steps and a partner and all
You have to keep in mind that I am still stuck in Colorado for another week after my birthday, and not one of my friends has the day off to help me celebrate, so I am on my own. (And sorry mom, I'm not calling your friends up. No offense...)
I am open to suggestions though.
I am sure it is still good to be me, but I really wish my birthday was a week later so I would be done with my assignment here. Or that my assignment here was already done! I can't wait for the 2 weeks after my birthday. I'll be everywhere!

Sometimes my patients suprise me. One, whom I like to call my "Cabbage Patch Patient" because she is so puffed up that she looks like one, and she is just the sweetest thing and is constantly saying thank you, and sweetheart and please and generally just being a dear, suprised me today. I honestly did not think she was ever going to get better. But she is. She can eat. She can get up almost by herself. She even walked yesterday for 190 feet. Amazing!
Funny how describing a patient can sound like a new mother glowing over the their childs new accomplishments. "Little Johnny finally used the big boy potty instead of his diaper!" "My patient finally used the actual potty instead of her diaper!"
It's so nice to see someone getting better. We don't usually get to see that. It seems that it always goes the other way here. Especially lately.
I know it is never me that improved the patient, but it sure is fun to cheer them on and be proud of them. It is good to be me, especially when my patients are doing well!